


The Interview

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: These Women [2]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drama, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 20:30:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5104718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I think my life is going to change in a good way.  Something that will make me a better person, a better cop, a better friend.  I don't know, maybe I'm just feeling kind of hopeful tonight but I feel that.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Interview

**Author's Note:**

> Sam is still chattering away and I think I know what the third part is about already. But this is just part two. I think I’m going to call the series These Women, which is both simple and to the point. Anyway, here’s the story. I hope the readers enjoy it and come to see Sam as a whole character and not just someone stuck in the middle. I kinda find her fascinating.

Olivia walked to the door, looked through the peephole, and then opened it. Samantha Hoffman was standing on the other side, looking just as chic and gorgeous as the first time they met. Tonight she wore purple skinny ankle pants, a black mohair type v-neck, and purple ballet flats. She carried a classic Kate Spade nylon bag in black. Her hair was up in a messy but sophisticated bun and she had on the black rimmed glasses.

“I really appreciate you coming over to do this, Sam.” Olivia smiled as she invited her in. “It’s been a long week at work and I couldn’t drag myself out for a public show tonight.”

“I'm just so glad you're doing OK.” Sam said. “Is it OK if we hug?”

“Um, sure.”

“I was just so worried about you.” Sam said as she wrapped her arms around Olivia. “I watched the Lewis trial coverage, and of course we don’t have to talk about those things at all but oh my god…I was petrified when I saw what was happening on the news. Rafael was beside himself; I did my best to comfort him. I'm relieved that you're alright.”

“That’s so kind, thank you. Can I get you a drink?”

“Yes.” Sam dragged out the reply and laughed. “I've had a long week too, I think a more casual setting is going to suit the both of us.”

“I want to start by saying that my bosses think this is a great idea but I've never really done an interview that wasn’t based strictly off a case I was working on. In the past I've had a bit of a contentious relationship with the press.”

“I am definitely not the press.” Sam put her bag on the carpet by her feet and started digging out her tools. She needed her notebook, pen, and mini-tape recorder. “This is just two women talking about what it’s like to be working women. Girls First is dedicated to empowerment for girls and young women. But more than that, all women from all walks of life. I think a lot of people would be interested in reading a story about a female officer ranked Sergeant in the NYPD. So often we’re given the impression that cops are mostly men and that the system is sexist, which I don’t doubt. I want this to be about something good on the other side of that.”

“I hope red is OK.” Olivia came back into the living room with two glasses of red wine. “I've been waiting to open this bottle of Malbec.”

“I love Malbec.” Sam smiled.

“This is an Alta Vista 2005. I hear it was a very good year for their vineyard.”

“So you're also a wine enthusiast?”

“I love my reds.” Olivia replied. “I always keep at least two bottles of Riesling around for when I want to combine my sweet tooth with a little drink in the evenings. But mostly I drink reds.”

“Do you like cocktails or harder liquor?”

“I've been known to have the occasionally tumbler of Johnny Walker or maybe a martini but for a long time it’s been wine. It brings a relaxing feeling, in the belly, and in my line of work relaxing wherever you can is something you don’t take for granted.”

“How long have you been a cop?” Sam asked. “I'm just going to turn on the tape recorder, if you don’t mind. We can do the interview without it but I don’t know if I can keep up writing. I don’t want to get anything out of context.”

“The recorder is fine.” Olivia nodded. She wasn’t entirely comfortable but that wasn’t just about the recorder. She didn’t want to do the interview and she didn’t want to do the interview with Rafael’s girlfriend. It wasn’t that she disliked Sam; she barely knew her. And what she did know of her was all perfectly pleasant and fine. 

The idea of disliking someone because they were dating one of your friends was petty. If there was going to be any discord between the women, it needed to be real. Olivia didn’t want that. Part of the reason she wanted Sam to come over was so they could both be somewhere relaxed. 

1 PP thought this interview thing was a good idea so Olivia had no choice. She at least wanted to make sure that the experience wasn’t completely unbearable. “I became a police officer in 1992, um, I started at the five-five. I joined Manhattan SVU at the one six in 1993, got my detective’s shield in 1998, and have been there ever since.”

“Is it normal for an officer to stay in one precinct for so many years?”

“I don’t know about normal but it is done. Often when officers choose to move up the ranks they move to precincts where they’re needed. They may walk the beat in one precinct, become a detective and move to another, and then possibly another altogether after passing the sergeant’s exam.”

“Is it true you're currently in command at the 16th precinct?” Sam asked.

“I'm the highest ranking officer there, yes.” Liv replied nodding. She took a sip of her wine. “A lieutenant or a captain would outrank me and the commissioner may soon place one in our unit. I still prefer field work so having someone there to run things would be feasible. Sergeant is usually second in command.”

“What made you become a cop?”

“I get asked this question a lot. I'm not on a mission to save the world. I just want to make Manhattan safer for victims of sex crimes. So many people don’t report their crimes or if they do, they're not given justice by the system. The resources to help sex crime victims are so limited and there's still a lot of victim-blaming that happens in the public every day. 

“Anyone, male, female, young, old, can find themselves being a sex crime victim. Like homicide, a large majority of sex crimes are committed by people the victim knows. That adds more shame and stigma to what happens. I'm here to help people, that’s all. It’s a calling much more so than a job.”

“Does the job give you nightmares?”

“Yes. The day it stops I might have to retire.”

“And you're not married, Olivia?”

“No.” she shook her head.

“Have you ever been married?”

“No.”

“Can we talk about that a little bit? Is it just something that you never wanted or you haven’t found the right person yet? Does your job kind of make you look at every person, particularly men, with that little side-eye because you’ve seen bad things?”

“It’s hard to share what I do with people. My job is tough and it’s gritty and sometimes it’s sickening. It’s not easy for the strongest person to stomach. Some men I've dated have asked me why I do it. They only think about the weirdness or disgust they may feel about the crime and not the fact that behind every crime is a person. I work for the people of New York, not the criminals. So I bring my work home, as anyone would do, and that can be a deal breaker.”

“You also don’t have children.” Sam said.

“I don’t. I was raised by a single mom so I know how amazing and capable they are. They're superheroes.” Olivia smiled. “But with my job I don’t know if I could devote the time to being a mother that a child needs. I love kids. I love interacting with them, playing and talking and sharing so sometimes the decision I made is a hard one to live with. And then I work a case with a child and I help them face a fear or defeat a monster and I know that even though I'm not a parent I still have the ability to make a child’s life better.”

“That’s awesome. So you were raised by a single mom…was your father in the picture at all?”

“No.”

“Divorced? Didn’t know him at all…?”

“I don’t talk about my father very much.” Liv cleared her throat, drinking more wine. “It’s a difficult subject for me. Both of my parents are deceased and I have a half-brother. I can sit and say that I wish I had a more idyllic childhood. If the situation would’ve been different maybe I could’ve known my father better…but it wasn’t. Everything I've been through led me here.”

“You’ve been through some tough times at work as well.” Sam said. “I'm not going to talk about Lewis of course but there has been hostage situations, you’ve been shot at, you’ve lost victims, your partner resigned after 12 years. Can we talk a little about that side of a being a cop.”

“I put my life on the line every day. I strap on a gun and a badge and I confront some very bad people. I confront people who I suspect are very bad people. I've been shot at, I've been pushed down flights of stairs, I've chased people for blocks on foot and in a car; I've been nearly run down by a couple of cars. It’s the job. I try not to spend a lot of my time thinking about the bad things that might happen to me. Something bad has already happened to someone else and I'm here to help.”

“Do you miss your partner?”

“Nick Amaro is my partner…he's still at the one six. I'm a sergeant now so we don’t always partner up but he's got my back.”

“I was talking about Elliot Stabler.” Sam said. “I did my research and he was your partner from 1999 to 2011 before his resignation.”

“Detective Stabler retired from the force, he didn’t resign. He was my partner for a long time and,” she sighed, not exactly sure how to go on. Sam seemed willing to wait and sipped on her wine. “It happens in the department. People leave for various reasons but those still there have to remain focused on the job. I remain focused.”

“What do you outside of the NYPD? Is there anyone or anything special in your life?”

“I'm considering getting a dog.”

“I'm serious.” Sam laughed. “Do you have hobbies or friends that you spend time with? Is there more to Olivia Benson than SVU.”

“I hope so.” Liv smiled some. “I can admit to being a workaholic. A lot of my closer friends are workaholic cops like me. I wish I had a great answer like I paint landscapes or swim with manatees but usually my captain had to force me to take vacation time.”

“Well if you weren't a cop, what would you be doing work wise?”

“I'd work for a non-profit maybe. Something that had to do with children and families. While in college I interned at a non-profit that relocated and resettled women and families torn apart by domestic violence. I could see myself as a victim’s advocate; I think I would be good in that role.”

“What about something that had nothing to do with what you do now. What's Olivia Benson’s dream job?”

“My dream job? I'd be a cellist with the New York Symphony. And before you ask, I have no idea how to play the cello. I played the violin for a little while in elementary and middle school. My mother wanted me to learn an instrument. I didn’t take well to it. I can fiddle with a piano or acoustic guitar sometimes. But in another life…the New York Symphony would be wonderful.”

“I like that answer.” Sam smiled. “I played the French horn in my high school band. It’s not exactly a sexy instrument you can get a record deal with but I was pretty good at it. There's nothing like the camaraderie you get with band or symphony. There's infighting and bickering like you wouldn’t believe but we all have to work together to create those beautiful sounds.”

“Exactly.” Liv nodded.

“So tell me what you see in your future. I don’t mean work, I think you're going to be with the NYPD as long as you want to be. I mean just for Olivia.”

“How far do you want me to look?”

“The coming year.” Sam replied. “You’ve been through some tough times and you came out on the other side. Do you think you might devote a little more time to life outside the one six, or…?”

“I think something good is coming. Do you ever just know, even if you don’t know what it is? I think my life is going to change in a good way. Something that will make me a better person, a better cop, a better friend. I don't know, maybe I'm just feeling kind of hopeful tonight but I feel that. I just have to wait and make sure I don’t take any moments for granted while I'm doing that.”

“Thanks so much, Olivia.” Sam reached over and turned off the tape recorder. “I really appreciate you doing this for me.”

“Of course. Can I refill your glass?”

“That sounds lovely. I have to say that Malbec is close to perfect.”

“I know. Actually, I think it was Rafael that picked it out.”

“Really?” Sam turned to look at Olivia as she stood in her kitchen.

“Yes. He knows I love wine. Sometimes when we have to work late we might talk over drinks at one of the many lounges in this town. So he knows what I like to drink.”

“He's a workaholic too.” Sam said.

“We do give him plenty of cases. Have you ever seen him in court?”

“I haven’t.” Sam shook her head.

“You should come and see him.” Liv came back into the living room. “When he does a summation or a cross examination, it’s amazing. I've been acquainted with a lot of lawyers in my time but Rafael Barba is one of the best.”

“Have you two been friends for very long?”

“Um…a year and a half I think. Some days it really does seem like longer than that. But we work together nearly every day. Unfortunately the scum of the earth keeps us pretty busy.”

“He's mostly mum on work just like you are. I can get him to open up about some of the lawyers and the ridiculous deals they try to get for some of the worst people, but the cases…he doesn’t like to talk about it. I love talking about my work but I don’t want to be that girlfriend.”

“Which girlfriend is that?” Liv asked.

“The one who constantly talks about herself. He's not the world’s most open book.”

“Oh he isn't with me either. We just work together, you know? I mean we’re friends but haven’t gotten to know each other on such a personal level that I know what kind of toothpaste he uses or his father’s first name.”

“I'm sorry, Liv. Is it OK if I call you Liv? I definitely didn’t come here to bring up Rafael and ask a bunch of questions about your friendship. I would never put you in the middle of what's happening with us. They are two separate entities.”

“I think it was me who brought him up.” Liv said. “It’s really alright. You and I don’t know each other well so we go to our common denominator. I think that’s probably normal.”

“I really like Rafael.” Sam smiled. “He works a lot and we don’t get to spend the time together that a normal couple getting to know each other would but it’s been almost six months and I don’t hate his guts yet. I'm assuming he doesn’t hate mine. Now comes the bigger challenge of deciding what's next and if he wants to meet my kids.”

“That can't be easy, the dating with kids thing.”

“Nothing is easy with dating once you’ve past forty. Honestly though, it’s less about my kids and more about my ex. Peter is remarried, has been since about five minutes after the ink dried on the divorce. But he still thinks it’s his job to scrutinize every man who might even say hello to the girls. I don’t mean in a fatherly way, I mean more like ‘I want to make Sam uncomfortable’ kind of way. I don’t want Rafael to deal with that too but it comes with the territory.”

“Was it a difficult custody case?” Olivia asked. 

Here she was getting deeper into the life of Sam Hoffman. She wasn’t sure that was something that needed to be done. Still though, it was hard to remember the last time she talked to a woman and it wasn’t about sex crimes or something similar. The truth was that Olivia didn’t have much of a life outside of being a cop. This conversation with Sam was the closest she could get at the moment.

“Not at all.” Sam waved away the notion. “Hey, do you mind if I smoke. If not it’s totally fine but oh what a day and we’re coming up on my inhale time.”

“Inhale time?” Olivia smiled.

“I have three cloves a day. One in the morning, one when I get off work or at five o’clock if I'm working late, and one at nine before bath and bed. Its nearly nine now. If it bothers you, it’s no problem; I can wait until I get home.”

“Just let me open the windows.”

Liv got up from the couch and opened the two living room windows. It was a breezy, early October night and she smelled rain in the air. She actually had an ashtray in one of her kitchen drawers, Fin brought it back from Jamaica for her along with a shot glass. Sam’s smile was grateful as she pulled a sterling silver cigarette case from her bag.

“Would you like to join me? They aren’t cigarettes, really, they're Indian cloves. Ziganov is one of the most popular brand in the world and they have a lot of different flavors. Black Cherry is my favorite…I've been on that kick for a while now.”

“I thought the clove import was banned in the U.S. a few years back.” Liv said.

“I've got a hook-up at the Canadian border.” Sam laughed. “What Barack Obama doesn’t know won't get me arrested. At least I hope not, since I'm sitting here offering a police officer a technically illegal substance.”

“And she is going to take you up on your offer of said substance.”

“Great.” She smiled, and opened the case. She took one and Liv took another. Sam lit them both and took a deep inhale. “I'm glad we got to sit down and talk, Olivia. I Googled you after we met and I was really impressed, not just with your police work but with you as a person. 

“In my line of work I want to, and need to, engage with as many women as I can from all different walks of life. I don’t want to come with the white savior feminist version of the world and try to package it to young girls coming up. I want to give them more, let them choose what they believe and consume and fight for based on many different ideals instead of being spoon fed by their mothers. I don’t want us just to be friendly because Rafael is your friend. I think knowing you, and spending time with you if that’s alright, would be beneficial to me and definitely beneficial to Girls First. 

“Right now we’re actually working on a Girl Power Seminar Tour that’s going to some major metropolitan cities but also some big secondary cities come spring. We've got Queen Latifah, Chrissy Teigen, and Shailene Woodley signed on so far. I'm very impressed with Yara Shahidi on Black-ish so I’ve had my people reaching out to her people to see if we can get her on board for a few stops. We want to present a multicultural cavalcade of women, in different fields, to impress upon our daughters that they can be anything. If this inaugural one goes well it would be something we sponsor bi-annually.”

“Wow,” Olivia carefully inhaled the clove. It reminded her of senior year at Siena, teetering on the edge of girlhood and trying to be sophisticated. They were tasty and relaxing in her belly like the wine. “It sounds like you're pretty busy.”

“I am.” Sam nodded. “But the job gives me such joy. Then I get to go home and share it with m girls every night. Jo, my youngest, she's firmly decided that she wants to be a Jedi when she grows up. She might grow out of that but I want her to know that she can jump into science or engineering. I think one day, if that remains her dream, she could do big things at NASA.”

“She could be the next Sally Ride.”

“I know, right. That would be great and then she can bring up other girls. We network, we outreach, we teach, and we care. I would love for you to get involved if you could find the spare time.”

“I’ll really think about it.” Liv said.

“Promise?”

“I do.” she smiled. “It sounds like you're doing really good work in the world.”

“I'm trying, while still remembering all the privileges afforded to me because of skin tone, my income, and even my gender. It can be a high wire to create a safe space for all women but that’s why Girls First prides itself on having a multiethnic group of women and men in our networks so we can hear all different voices when we’re working on project ideas. There's one more thing I wanted to talk to you about. In our monthly e-zine we do a Top 10. 

“It’s a feature where we usually talk to women or girls on the streets of New York and ask them ten of their favorite things. We collect them and feature someone different each month. I would love to ask you the ten questions and get some answers for a later issue. It won't be in the one where we feature your article. Would you like to do that?”

“Sure.” Liv nodded.

“OK,” Sam turned a few pages in her notebook and found the group of questions they were currently working with. “So favorite album that you're listening to right now?”

“Adele, _21_. I've been listening to it since the moment it came out. It’s such an amazing album that can capture my moods.”

“What's your favorite film?” Sam asked.

“ _Gaslight_ and _High Fidelity_.”

“Those are quite far apart on the genre spectrum.”

“I call it the power of JC.” Liv said.

“What's that mean?” 

“John Cusack and Joseph Cotten. I really have a John Cusack thing.”

“I think a lot of women our age have a John Cusack thing. Lloyd Dobler ruined it for a whole generation of guys.” Sam laughed. “What's your favorite breakfast?”

“Pancakes.”

“And your favorite book?”

“ _I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings_.” Liv replied.

“How about your favorite season, and why?”

“I teeter between spring and autumn but usually choose autumn because of the beautiful colors falling from the sky. I like the chilly nights even when the days are still warm. I love the way the air smells. So it would definitely be autumn.”

“What's your favorite thing to instantly impress someone who doesn’t know you?” Sam asked.

“That’s usually someone running from me during or after the commission of a crime so I would have to say the legendary Benson clothesline. Puts them down every time.”

“Oh wow,” Sam laughed as she scribbled the answer down. “I love that answer!”

Taking one last, deep puff of her clove, Sam put it out in the ashtray. She picked up the half-full glass of wine and started working on that.

“What’s your favorite childhood memory?”

“My mother and I would take trips to upstate New York to visit friends of hers and she always played The Carpenters or Simon and Garfunkel in the car. That was it, nothing else. So I think it was singing along to songs like _Top of the World_ and _Punky’s Dilemma_. Just the feeling of being carefree when that music was playing, even the sadder Carpenters songs.”

“OK, just two more. Where would be your favorite place in the world to visit that you haven’t yet seen?”

“Cairo.” Liv replied. “I want to see the Sphinx and the Pyramids, all those beautiful wonders still standing despite the hell we put our earth through.”

“Lastly, when are you happiest?”

“Wow,” Liv finished her clove and put it out in the ashtray. “I didn’t see that one coming. I would say Sunday mornings because I usually sleep in…I don’t often work on Sunday. So I get to stay under my blankets. When I do emerge I can cook my favorite meal, catch up on news I haven’t read or put in a classic DVD. I'm happiest on Sunday because it’s my day. Sometimes it’s interrupted by work or life but usually it’s just for me.”

“Those were great answers Olivia, really.” Sam started putting things back into her nylon bag. She finished her wine, leaned back on the couch and smiled. “I'm glad we got to do this.”

“So am I.” Liv nodded.

“Would I be out of line to ask you out for dinner sometimes? Just an open invite…two workaholics taking a few hours off to eat some excellent food.”

“I think that might be fun. Should we lay out some kind of ground rules for what we won't discuss?”

“I solemnly swear,” Sam held up her right hand like she was a girl scout. “To never bring up Rafael unless it’s abstractly such as ‘Rafael likes Sondheim too’. No intimate details of our relationship and surely no putting you in the middle with embarrassing friend questions. What do you want to solemnly swear to?”

“Making sure that I remember that Sam Hoffman is an intelligent, personable woman whose company I would be there to enjoy and not to ask too many questions about a relationship she's in with a friend of mine.”

“So no Rafael.” Sam laughed. “I think we can both do that. The girls are with their dad most weekends so if you want to give up a little Sunday free time we could probably have a nice brunch out and just chat.”

“I'd love to hear more about Girls First and these traveling seminars.” Olivia said.

“All you have to do is wind me up and I can talk about work all the time.”

Sam stood, putting her bag over her shoulder as she and Olivia walked to the door.

“Well you're doing something quite fascinating, Sam. I think everyone should hear about it.”

“Bless your heart.” Sam said. “I only wish. Can we use you when we’re having our fundraisers? Put you right on a billboard and type just what you said.”

“I’ll think about it.” Liv laughed.

“Well it was so nice to see you again.” Sam hugged her. “Give me a call on a Sunday soon and we’ll get out there before it gets too cold. New York is amazing in the winter but it’s so much better when you can walk 22 blocks and barely break a sweat.”

“You're right. I will call you; thanks Sam.”

“Goodnight, Liv.”

“Goodnight.”

Sam was down the stairs and headed out of the lobby door when her phone began to ring. She knew the sitter was staying with the girls until 11 but she still double checked to see who was calling. The name made her pick up.

“Hi there.”

“Hi. I wasn’t sure if you were meeting up with Liv tonight or not and I didn’t want to interrupt.” Rafael said.

“Well you must be a psychic, ADA Barba, because I'm just walking out of her building. What's up?”

“Do you wanna have a nightcap? I know you probably need to get home to the girls soon but I thought I would at least try.”

“I've got an hour and some change to spare.” Sam said. “Where are you?”

“My place.”

“Mmm, aha, I see what this is.”

“It’s a nightcap, Samantha.” Rafael said. He laughed, hadn’t meant to but some parts of him were completely transparent.

“OK, so I’ll get in a cab and should be there in 20 minutes.”

“I'm really looking forward to seeing you.”

“Me too, Rafi. Bye.”

She slipped her phone back into her bag and walked toward the corner to hail a cab. At least she would get some good sex out of the deal tonight. It had been a long week at work and Samantha Hoffman was tired. Attempting to save the world, or some such, was absolutely tiring. It was also something that she enjoyed every minute of. 

The idea of being able to go home, go somewhere, and be with a man who wanted to take care of her for little while when the days were tough, appealed to her. She just wasn’t sure if Rafael Barba was that man. God, he was so handsome. He was well-read, worldly, well-dressed, sexy, funny, but there was something about him that Sam couldn’t quite reach. It had barely been six months and they were introduced by a mutual friend who knew them both well and swore it would be a good match. 

Sam hadn’t quite gotten on the train yet. She really like Rafael. She just wasn’t sure if loving Rafael would be the best idea she ever had. She was 44 years old, bad ideas where men were concerned was something she never wanted to deal with again. Wires got crossed, words misspoken; things like that were normal. 

But she didn’t feel Rafael opening up to her. It still felt so casual. Casual was fine in the beginning but six months kind of marked the time to decide if this relationship would blossom and grow. After the long day she had, Sam didn’t want to talk about that tonight. But they would have to soon. 

If Rafael was in then she was too but if he floundered even a bit it might be a better idea to move on. Sam would save those issues for tomorrow. There was good wine in her belly, she had such a great talk with Olivia, and now there would be sex. The last couple of hours of her day had the first 10 beat by a country mile. That’s what she would focus on.

***


End file.
